Friday, February 10, 2006

Yesterday was exciting for me! That is if you consider cleaning poop off every surface in your toddler's bedroom except for the ceiling something 'exciting'. If I were an optimist, I'd say that was the one good part of the whole pooptastrophe: Rosie cannot reach the ceiling. Yet.
Instead of getting angry, I ended up getting the camera. No need to pat me on the back. I've already congratulated myself on the choice to put a positive spin on the whole thing.

Here's how it went down: Rosie climbed into her bed about 1PM, of her own volition, which was unusual, except that she does have a cold. It's was time for her nap, so I walked into her room, tucked her into her bed, and just for good measure, put up the tension safety gate in her doorway. Graco has made a lot of money from my family. So, with Catie happily playing a tutorial program on her computer, I grabbed some blog time for myself. Fast Forward thirty minutes to this scene: Catie saying, "OH NO! Mom, Rosie stinks!"

What you cannot see (unless you look very close) is that she has poop matted in her hair, smeared on her face, arms, legs, hands and feet. The gate I put up for safety kept her in her room, but, um...well, it was not spared from Rosie's fecal fingerpainting. I picked her up, held her at arms length, and plunked her in the bathtub. While the tub was filling, I went back to assess the damage:


Yes, those are turds on her carpet, and the dark spot IS a small puddle of pee. I immediately went to my cleaning closet to grab the spot remover - then remembered that I used the last of it to clean up the last pooptastrophe. I then bathed Rosie, dried her off, sent her to the living room, and went to get her clean clothes. When I brought the clothes back into the living room, Rosie was holding a tissue up for me. I took it and asked her, "What's this for?" My two year old responded, "Kween!", and pointed to her bedroom. As sweet as that was, I still think she does it on purpose! DH was with coworkers at a mandatory event, so I text messaged him, pleading for him to bring home some Resolve. He called a moment later and asked what was up, so I gave him a brief explanation. He promised to bring some home later. Even if he had been home with us, I'd still be cleaning up the mess. I like to think he'd hold back my hair if I was puking, but I may never know.

I went back to Rosie's bedroom, and saw something I'd missed the first AND second time.

A POOP MURAL:


I set about cleaning up as much as I could before my husband got home or it was time to retrieve Halie from school. I picked up the turds with an inside out plastic bag (you dog owners know what I mean), cleaned the wall with Mr. Clean Orange, then disinfected with good ol' b-l-e-a-c-h. The first thing DH says when he walks in? "Sure smells bad in here!" DUH!! He did bring me the Resolve (my hero!), and I set about cleaning the carpet in Rosie's bedroom. The smell is gone, and I'll never know if the stains are permanent, since we invested in 'dark toast' colored berber carpet three years ago.

Until next time. I'm sure I'll blog about that one, too!

5 Comments:

Blogger Erin said...

That, my dear, is disgusting!! But, I have had my own share of poop fiascos. Like the time a fully loaded diaper EXPLODED as I picked it up and landed all over Dough Boys head. I gagged I tell ya!

Hope that never happens again, hon!

11:54 AM  
Blogger Jenn said...

Oh my god, that is VILE! Oh man I think that would have sent me over the edge. Ew ew ew. Poor woman, you need a cocktail after that!

12:29 PM  
Blogger EmmaSometimes said...

omgosh erin, what do you do???

moms just clean it up, I know, but how do you make it stop? what does your doc say? what do you say to Rosie? have I asked 100 questions yet?

I feel for you..ug

1:26 PM  
Blogger iMonk said...

hrmph. *gag* *heave*

erin...
i am at work.
i almost threw up.
i don't think the members would understand.
"i'm sorry, sir. i just looked at my niece's poop. that vomit should come out really easy. i can call her mom and ask for some tips."

10:18 AM  
Blogger deputyswife said...

OhMyGod! I would have been on the floor chanting "Oh please let the birth control work..."

LOL!

8:50 PM  

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